GO MAKE SOME STUFF
I remember vividly the thought of following my dream and leaving behind my job, the financial stability and all the cozy things around it. It’s been years already since it first crossed my mind. And if I’d waited to know who I was, to get everything just right before quitting, well, I’d still be sitting around, trying to figure myself out.
At some point, I decided I was ready to explore and I started making stuff.
To be completely honest, I started making the wrong stuff. Or just doing it wrong. One way or another, it was a good thing to start even like that because it’s your work that gives you hints about who you are and what makes you happy.
You might be scared to start. That’s normal. I was scared to death. And I still am sometimes when I have no idea where to go or what to do next. But the truth is that when it comes to creative work, nobody really knows the magic behind good outcomes. I guess you just do your thing and try to enjoy the journey. Every day.
To me, the job I had for 10 years was about how to control and predict results. If I ever found mess around me, I would have organised and cleaned it. But then I stepped into a different world, which has a lot to do with creativity, getting lost, wondering all over the place, never knowing where it is going to lead me.
So the natural instinct was to fight with it as I rather wanted the results, the clean results, than the process. The process was and still is interesting but also painful, full of doubt and involves hard work. The uncertainty kicked, so I kicked back. A street fight took place for a couple of months. I lost the battle against uncertainty but probably got in touch with my real me sooner than I expected.
There is a lot of uncertainty around me, and there will probably be even more for years to come. But one thing I know for sure is that good ideas surface when you leave aside the fear of imperfection and the fear of failure, when you just mess around with curiosity. Some people even say that they get their best ideas when they are bored and idle, as if that is the best way for the mind to focus on something meaningful. I kind of like that and I think I might need some practice.